[or: Why you should never skimp on a statue budget]

Saturday night my dear friend Sarah IM’d me about a certain sports discussion board thread had gained her attention for over an hour.

Over an hour? Really?

I needed such a distraction because Adam had just left on a Transatlantic flight to Ireland and my thoughts have been known to go to the worst possible scenario when I have nothing else to think about. Plus there was this thing called grad school that I’ve been known to procrastinate. So with just over an hour until the Razorbacks schooled the Gamecocks, I clicked. And oh how happy I was that I did, because you just can’t make this crap up.

First, Sarah directed me to this: New Longhorns Legend Walk

Basically, directly behind University of Texas Co-Op a Legends Walk of the most legendary Longhorn athletes has been constructed.

Sounds grand enough, right?

Upon closer inspection you’ll notice that (based on the sport)  every. single. statue. is exactly the same, except for skin color. Same facial features even. And if you’re a basketball legend you’re lucky enough to look somewhat like Michael Jordan, and, in some cases, a white Michael Jordan. Or, if you’re lucky enough you might even get a wig! I mean, how awesome is THAT?

The discussion board thread that stole her attention for over an hour can be found here: UT Football, Basketball, Baseball & Golf statues behind Co-op

As you scroll through the 20 some odd pages you’ll see that people started creating Photoshop mashups of the statues in various scenarios, which got our wheels turning. Sarah and I started thinking of movie scenes, posters and pictures to put the statues in. I’d surprise her with a few ideas of my own and email my photoshopped masterpiece to her or she’d send me a picture link and I’d get to work on it, since she didn’t have Photoshop.

We continued this exercise all through the second half of the Razorback game and came up with what we thought were genius ideas. So genius in fact, that we found a similar thread on WooPig.net to post our creations on.

It’s possible that you don’t visit WooPig.net, or are too lazy to click through and find these lovely masterpieces. I totally understand, because who has time to find and read random sports discussion boards? Apparently Sarah and I do.

These Photoshop masterpieces deserve to be shared with the Interwebs.

At least in our opinion they do.

Before I share these, I need to say thanks to the UT Co-Op:

Thanks for funding the most hideous statues in the history of sports statues. This Hog fan sure loves an excuse to laugh at your expense. And yes, I’m fully aware the SWC no longer exists, but my parents raised me right.